Verdict:
Miss Chaudhary needs to be behind bars minus her right to a lawyer. In this age and day how did she manage to walk out of the house wearing that hideous black and white polkas dot tee, tucked into some sort of black wrap pants which is neither here nor there. Her pumps work but her blush overdose and hideous maroon nails mean an extended term at a rehab post release.
Offender: Sonam Kapoor
Verdict:
Saved by the skin of her teeth. We know she is a fashionista who hardly ever goes wrong, but she nearly slipped this time - what were you thinking Miss Kapoor getting all adventurous with a dress that is perfect for an 80-year-old going out for the annual "Old Girls' Meet". Her saving grace - she's got the right accessories and attitude on. Since we like the youthful freshness she brings to the school marm attire with a chunky neckpiece and a nice croc bag, she will be let off with a reprimand only. We like the right shade of lipstick she has on, and her hair shining in simple side swept style, she should have toned down the blush though.
Offender: Sonakshi Sinha
Verdict:
Despite all that shiny spandex, and Pilates attire, we at the Department of Fashion have decided to let Miss Sinha go simply because she has managed to add an oomph to this gym gear. Here's her warning though: the belt works; but it should sit on the hip bone rather than clinch the waist. The tee should be tad bit loose, a tunic would have worked better. Loose the jacket or pair it with denim. The makeup and hair, though perfect do not really go with this attire. A more casual tousled hair is youthful and age appropriate. Loorve the red-tipped nails...shorter would have been better.
Offender: Sangeeta Bijlani
Verdict:
Ouch! The flapper dress of bygone era, the hair, the tired face; why did you even bother to dress up Miss Bijlani? Or were you thinking of time travelling? We simply have to lock you up and throw the key into the river. This is a fashion crime that we cannot overlook. While we would like to look the other way from the sheer force of dull, dreariness you are exuding, we cannot do so. We cannot let you loose on innocent bystanders. Sorry, we cannot cut your term short.
Offender: Deepika Padukone
Verdict:
You've got your little black dress just right Miss Padukone. But the rest of you could do with some improvement. Loose the flats...we know you are tall, and don't like to tower over people. But please be kind to this dress and pair it with a nice pair of strappy Jimmy Choos. Ditch the neutral makeup and brown lipstick. It's a fashion crime to pair brown and black...off course you knew that, right? Tone down the bling even if you are endorsing a jewellery brand, the neckpiece would do just fine.
Offender: Ekta Kapoor
Verdict:
What can we say? Miss 'Soap Queen' Kapoor deserves 14 years RI no less. Where do we start? The all black salwar kameez fit for a funeral, the non-descript dupatta, the ungainly sight of the cleavage are crimes that cannot be condoned. Then we come to the clods that she is trying to pass off as footwear. We arrest her under the count of fraud. Did she steal them from one of the extras on her sets? Or are they rejects she found near the dumpster she must have crossed while walking to the venue. Unless she has declared bankrupt, we are sure she can afford a pair from Bata if not Manolos.
Offender: Sridevi Kapoor
Verdict:
Mrs Boney Kapoor sure needs some fashion lessons from her niece Sonam. With due respect to the 80's hot bod, this dress is a fashion disaster. We purse our lips, and shake our head in disappointment as we ask her why did she choose to wear this restructured sack in silk? She needs to be detained for a while for wearing such an ill-fitting costume which does nothing to her lovely curves and makes her bust look like a bolster. What's with the red nails? Tch! tch!
Offender: Katrina Kaif
Verdict:
The policing officials at the Department of Fashion is yet undecided about the punishment to mete out to Miss Kaif. While one faction of the policing squad likes the semi-Greek Goddess look she is trying to adopt with her black draped gown, the other side feels that it makes her look bulkier than she really is. The off-shoulder style is making her shoulders look broad, and her shape clearly apple. We need to dismiss her with a warning to choose a better gown in future. The whole policing team love the peaches-and-cream complexion, the subtle makeup, and the lovely waves in her hair. She is pardoned.
No comments:
Post a Comment